- ‘Of course, we did not understand at the time that the Israelis would never ever let us go back,’ Karmi tells Anadolu
- Karmi says Israel’s war on Gaza feels ‘worse’ than the Nakba: ‘The Israelis just might get away with it ... They might expel and kill all of us’
For Ghada Karmi, the memory of leaving her home in Jerusalem in 1948 begins with fear -- a moment when childhood was suddenly replaced by displacement, confusion and trauma.
“I lost everything I knew on that day,” the Palestinian writer and doctor told Anadolu in a video interview.
Karmi was a child in April 1948 when her family fled Jerusalem during the violence surrounding the creation of Israel.
Commemorating the 78th anniversary of the Nakba -- Arabic for “catastrophe” -- she recalled how Palestinian families hurriedly left their homes as violence spread and armed Zionist militias operated in residential areas.
"Nobody explained to us what was happening. We just knew we had to go. And that's very frightening in itself," she said. "People were afraid, they were afraid for their children, which is the major reason why my parents left.”
They hoped they would return once the situation calmed down.
“One has to imagine what it would be like for a child in that situation. Everybody was scared and worried -- I could see my parents were, my brother and my sister were."
Karmi remembers it was difficult to find transport to leave.
"Nobody would come to our neighborhood, which was very dangerous because there were lots of Jewish militias, all armed, and you didn't know when they might shoot you."
They eventually managed to get a taxi and began the journey toward her grandparents in Syria.
It was a “terrible” time, she said, as they drove to the bus station and changed to a car that would take them to Damascus.
“Nobody said ‘it won’t be long.’ Nobody said ‘don’t worry,’” she recalled. “There was none of that because, of course, they were in a panic as well.”
One memory that remained with her was leaving behind the family dog.
“We had a dog, it was a guard dog, but I loved him dearly ... and when we left our home, we left him as well.”
Unfamiliar life ahead
Karmi said that while taking refuge with her grandparents in Syria, she believed the displacement would only be temporary.
"Of course, we did not understand at the time that the Israelis would never, would never ever let us go back."
According to Karmi, the real rupture came when her family later moved from Damascus to London.
“It was extremely shocking,” she said. “The weather was very different, the people looked different. They spoke a different language. I spoke no English and it was really hard.”
She remembers struggling at primary school, completely unfamiliar with her new surroundings.
Despite the difficulties, she eventually learned English, continued her education and later studied medicine to become a doctor.
She later became an academic and author, publishing extensively on Palestinian issues.
Trauma, anger and loss
Karmi said the emotional impact of displacement remains with her, alongside a deep sense of outrage.
"I'm extremely angry that this was done to us."
She recalled being told in the UK that Jewish people needed refuge after persecution in Europe, but said even as a child, she questioned why Palestinians had to lose their homes as a result.
"I wasn't responsible for that persecution. So why would I have to give up my home?”
Karmi said the trauma of 1948 was rarely discussed openly within her family because her parents were focused on rebuilding their lives and educating their children.
“It just sat there, eating away inside.”
She said she has suppressed many memories.
"The trauma was so severe, the trauma of losing my home," said Karmi.
Gaza genocide
Reflecting on Israel’s war on Gaza, Karmi said the scale of destruction, displacement and “horror that has unfolded” since Oct. 7 feels even more devastating than what she experienced.
Karmi said that while it is difficult to compare atrocities, Palestinians expelled in 1948 believed they would eventually return.
"We had been expelled. We lived to fight another day -- that's how we felt, and that we would fight to return to our homeland,” she said. “We had the right to return and we were going to do it. So that kept us going."
But with the Gaza genocide, she said that belief has been shaken.
"For the first time, however, since 2023, the horrible thought has dawned that the Israelis just might get away with it,” she said.
“They might expel and kill all of us, or the majority ... That is why this is worse than the Nakba.”
A home no longer hers
Karmi said she has returned to Jerusalem several times since the early 1990s, although her first attempt to locate her family home was unsuccessful.
"Having made that first visit, I went again and again because, very much with the same idea, this was my homeland. This was my city,” she said.
Eventually, she found the house and visited it more than once, each time finding a different Israeli family living there.
On her last visit, she was invited inside.
“It didn’t feel right. I didn't feel anything,” she said.
“It wasn’t our house -- it was a structure and it had these aliens living in it.”
